Useful Tips

How to deal with conflict situations in the family


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Statistics show that mid-level managers spend 25–40% of their time on workplace conflicts. But it could be used to improve career performance or just for a pleasant conversation. In this article we will tell you how to resolve conflicts at work in order to feel comfortable among colleagues.

We are in Bright Side made a list of situations that can create a tense atmosphere at work, and tell you how to get out of them.

1. Excessive demanding boss

It is not easy to build communication with higher employees. Most bosses are action-oriented; they are confident and demanding; they worry about missed opportunities.

But managers can’t always take into account the slightest nuances: they manage the whole process, and do not delve into the intricacies of the work of each employee or department. That is why some decisions can simply drive the artist who is concerned about how to perform the task in a quality manner in every detail worried.

If both the leader and the subordinate are sufficiently competent, why should they not come to a partnership through negotiations, balancing each other's qualities? No need to obey blindly. It is better to politely and reasonably express your opinion, so that later you do not have to answer with your head for the miscalculation of the boss.

2. Harassment in the team

If most of the stresses that we face in the office can be planned and prevented, then the reactions of colleagues are an uncontrolled variable. This is especially true for such an office problem as conflicts on the basis of personal qualities and values. A few simple tips will help you survive in a baiting atmosphere.

  • Do not let the person who systematically humiliates you “put together a coalition”: communicate with other employees as if nothing had happened.
  • Some individuals are very hurt. If you cannot reduce the intensity of your reaction, then at least limit contact with the abuser.
  • Focus on the strengths of the opponent, remind yourself of his contribution to the common cause. This will relieve irritation.

3. Provocations of conflicting personalities

According to a study presented at the annual meeting of the American Psychiatric Association, 5-10% of workers may suffer from personality disorder. There are 4 of their main types.

The most fanatical and unpleasant of these types is conventionally called a "star". Such people fantasize about boundless success, believe that they all know best, love command and do not tolerate objections. Communicating with them, you should remain calm and respect their opinion, but still stand your ground, otherwise you will no longer be considered.

If you need to convince such a person of something, try to speak as reasonably as possible, tell us about the benefits that this individual colleague and the whole team can get.

4. Women's team

The office, in which the overwhelming number of female employees, is a typical conflictogenic environment. At first glance, it might seem that the best way is to stay apart. However, this, on the contrary, will set colleagues against you, and in the end it can even lead to dismissal. Therefore, choose a middle ground. How to do it?

  • Do not share information about your personal life with anyone or talk about problems that are not related to solving work tasks.
  • Do you hear gossip and rumors, or just discuss someone behind your back? Show that you are not going to take part in such conversations. Just try to do without unnecessary moralizing.
  • Follow the dress code and don’t wear too bright and defiant outfits, expensive wardrobe items, or accessories to work.
  • Do not strive to become "yours on the board." It is always noticeable and causes only contempt.
  • Be careful, listen more and, in turn, do not make harsh statements about other colleagues.
  • Do not neglect the rules and values ​​of the company. If the organization decided to hold corporate parties and celebrate birthdays in the office, do not ignore them.

Focus on the problem, not on the person

It happens that a loved one tries to insult or humiliate, in this case, the protective reaction of the body is turned on, and the person simply ceases to control himself.

In response, he can throw unpleasant phrases - not from evil, but simply in a fit of anger. In no case should this be done, since the conflict will subside over time, and the resentment of the words spoken will remain.

It is worth respecting your interlocutor, no matter what.

Be liberal

It is better to relate to the constant tricks of a loved one. Most likely, he is simply out of sorts or has a difficult period in his life, at work.

It is rare that a person deliberately annoys an interlocutor simply out of interest. Therefore, you should be patient or try to find out the reason for this behavior.

Different views on life

Each person is unique. Yes, you can meet another person with similar life values ​​and outlooks on life, but this is rare, and it will not work out completely. All the same, there is a question in which people's views differ. Therefore, we must learn to respect ourselves and the interlocutor, then we can avoid many conflicts in the family.

The memories are wrong

Over time, memories of a particular event are erased from memory.

Sometimes even people who swear or take offense at each other after 10 minutes forget the reason for the scandal, but still remain callous. The point is to hold a grudge if over time it is forgotten or radically changes in memories.

Childhood memories

In childhood, each person shows an owl character, fights for his interests and things, therefore he regularly conflicts with other people. Adults are calm about this behavior.

Sometimes it makes them smile. So why not adopt the behavior from childhood, when after an argument the offense disappears in a matter of minutes and the children begin to play together again and become best friends.

Time cures

Having lived with a person for many years, one can recall a lot of conflict situations, which sometimes reached a critical point.

Over time, their anger evaporated, and only the memory of the past remained. Therefore, even today’s conflict in a few years will seem sweet, meaningless or completely forgotten.

1. Do not create unnecessary stress factors

I have one - inevitable deadline. We must manage to do everything on time and according to GOST. If the employee copes, but at the same time has a non-standard appearance, I do not strain him with extra frames. Compliance with formalities costs a lot of effort and often reduces efficiency. You will come to some state corporation, and there everything is with white-collar workers and nothing works. Is that familiar?

2. Hire mature people

I try to hire mature workers, although some of them are not yet thirty. The fact is that each of us makes decisions based on our psychological age. According to the theory of Eric Byrne, each has three personalities: an adult, a child and a parent. Where the child says, “I don’t know,” the adult says, “I’ll figure it out,” and the parent says, “I will do it for you.” This creates a “generational conflict” even in a homogeneous collective.

Children do not grow up, parents are upset - goodbye, emotional balance and results! With the growth of independence, many conflicts disappear. Of course, a young guard is needed in any team, but people with pathological infantilism in the terminal stage should be avoided!

3. Depreciate the negative

When working with staff and customers, I try to amortize charges and negativity. Try depreciation instead of the usual escalation (development) of the conflict. You supposedly accept the opposite point of view, but go from the level of empty accusations to the level of real motives.

For example, they say to you: “Fool, you can’t do it!” And you: “I agree that you are a fool. But what exactly can't I deal with? ”After amortization, a constructive conversation begins. The only exception is if you come across sadists who humiliate others just for fun. In dealing with them, amortizing is not only useless, but also harmful.

4. Safely let off steam

Many modern offices have physical activity zones, treadmills, horizontal bars, and so on. Excessive hormone of aggression (testosterone) can be removed with the help of physical activity. I regularly train myself and pay the fitness subscriptions to my employees. You may not find the body of an athlete, but you will definitely get emotional discharge. Man imprisoned for an active life, do not spend it on swearing!

5. Reveal conflicts - solve problems

Life without conflict is utopia! We constantly have problems, and we solve them at the expense of someone. Everything in the world is subject to competition: from parking spaces to huge market segments.

If you want to create an atmosphere of natural selection in your company, the internal problems of the team can not be solved at all. Then the focus of a constant conflict can serve as a common printer or vacation schedule.

The leader a priori cannot know about all the problem points. A stable feedback channel with subordinates is needed. Open, for example, a box of complaints and suggestions. Surely very soon it will be filled with anonymous letters, many of which will be at least interesting.

By the way, I really look forward to complaints and suggestions in the comments!